This article can also be found at Degree180.
By society’s standards I’m at the prime age to be searching for a “life partner,” and frankly I think it’s a big fat waste of my time.
Yes, you read that correctly: I think dating is a big fat waste of my time. Am I against relationships in general? Nope. What I am against is the superficial “dating” stage before two people decide to officially change their Facebook status to “in a relationship.” Here are six reasons why I don’t date:
1. The Getting-To-Know-You Stage
I have nightmares about this stage. You guys all know how this story goes: you and your date met on Tinder last week and you’ve been out once or twice so you decide to meet up for drinks this week. You then proceed to sit across from each other in a bar awkwardly making small talk about stuff that realistically neither of you really care about. You can’t completely act like yourself because, you know, he might think you’re a psychopath or something. When the date ends (or wait, was it even a date…?), you have to play some Jedi mind tricks with each other because, like, are you supposed to kiss or what? Don’t even lie people, I know you’ve been through this too.
2. Dating Is Restrictive
I really treasure not having to worry about what another person thinks of me and what I’m doing at any given time. On the flip side, I like not having to worry about what the other person is doing. In other words: I’m a selfish asshole and I like doing what I want when I want.
3. I Have High Standards
This point should really be more commonplace; there is absolutely nothing wrong with having high standards for your potential partners. The truth is, we all have personality characteristics that we’re not willing to put up with, and not everyone you date is going to be a perfect match for you. The older you get, the more you learn about your preferences and deal-breakers. There ain’t nothin’ wrong with having standards.
4. My Heart Isn’t In It
Call me a weirdo, but I’m someone who really can’t feel an emotional attraction to another person until I’ve gotten to know them quite well. I know what you’re thinking: “but that’s what dating is for…finding out if you have that connection with someone!” I fully understand that, but that wont change the fact that my heart just isn’t in it. And is that really fair to the other person? I’m inclined to think not. I have to be established-friends with said person before I can legitimately decide if I want to be exclusive with them.
5. Dating Is A Lot Of Pressure
Once you hit a certain age there’s suddenly a lot of pressure by the people around you to find “the one.” Everybody just wants to be in your personal business. Your grandma keeps pestering you about why you’re 25 years old and you’re still not engaged! I mean, she should really have great-grand kids by now! Your friends are all getting engaged and they just want you to be happy too! There’s absolutely no reason to feel stress over who you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. What’s the rush, anyway? Not caring about the pressure can relieve you of a lot of unnecessary stress.
6. I’m A More Confident Person Now
The constant desire to be dating someone when I was in my teens and early twenties stemmed plainly from insecurity; I subconsciously felt that I needed a boyfriend to make me “whole.” Well as it turns out, I’m motherfucking awesome on my own and I certainly don’t need a boyfriend to be that way.
I’m so done with this dating bullshit, and here’s a novel idea: I like to think that my life is of value whether or not I’m going on dates with random guys every weekend. If the right person does happen to come along, then outstanding! Until that happens I’m going to keep on being my rad single self.
For further reading, check out Candace’s article “Are You In Love, Or Are You Combating Loneliness?”